We are not above throwing salt over our shoulders, shaking chicken bones, burning sage, or sacrificing goats to appease the angry gods of Notre Dame football. Top 10 Ways to Break the Streak:
1. Tear up the Kentucky bluegrass and replant ND Stadium entirely with four-leaf clovers.
2. Reenact the Clausen commitment ceremony, this time with proper deference to Karma: have it at Minnie-Bo's ribs (next to Bullseye Liquor), with Jimmy arriving on the city bus.
3. Equip the Grotto with flamethrowers.
4. Collect the poison of a Yellow Jacket, the tooth of a Nittany Lion, the hair of a Wolverine, and the sweat of a Spartan. Mix together in a large pot and boil for 24 hours, chanting the ancient Celtic Rite of Purification. Pour mixture in the trash and immediately shotgun 12 Keystone Lights.
5. Perform Stonehenge at Stonehenge on North Quad.
6. Zahm Hall shall remain celibate until the first win. Zahm is delighted to finally have an excuse.
7. Go to Rockne's Gravesite and do a shot of whiskey this afternoon, leaving one full one for the Rock. Do not invite Bob Davie along.
8. Appeal to the Ghost of the Gipper in Washington Hall. To ensure he appears, come armed with everything Gipp loved in life: pool cues, dice, and a buxom blonde on each arm.
9. Get Chandra Johnson started on Rogaine.
10. Play an overconfident Purdue team with a young, talented, and finally improving Notre Dame squad.