Week 3 In a Nutshell | by Dylan
This week's installment was delayed because of the long flight back to Earth. My apologies.
The better team won on Saturday. Sparty picked a plan that could have easily led to a quick humiliation if Brady Quinn had been able to hit his long passes early. They were never made to pay for bringing all eleven guys within eight yards of the ball. They gambled and won, and God knows we had plenty of opportunities to take it from them. On to Washington.
It's hard to find the chinks in the Trojans' armor, but the 197 yards rushing allowed against Arkansas is interesting. When taken with the 377 yards passing allowed to Hawaii, I think there may be some vulnerability on that side of the ball. Not so with the offense, however. Even Michael McDonald threw a touchdown pass. No word on whether he encored with "Yah Mo B There".
Yes, "andy", Oklahoma is a bad football team. As predicted here last week, UCLA beat the Sooners. This week's awful Oklahoma stat : Adrian Peterson, 23 carries for 58 yards (2.5 avg). By my count, there are at least three more losses on the schedule, including the impending deep impact against Texas, which could lead to a massive, state-wide seppuku. All memories of last year's appearance in the National Championship game will be erased, and, all of the sudden, Bob Stoops will start considering those NFL offers.
Purdue's secondary continued to impress, allowing their opponent nearly 300 yards and three touchdowns through the air for the second straight week, this time against an Arizona team that will be lucky to win three games this year. Sparty is going to steal Boilermaker Pete's sledge, cave in his skull, stuff him in the drum, and bury him in the end zone for Purdue's traditional "third loss of the year", a tradition as old as college football itself.
Miami is not very good. 3.8 yards per rush, 117 penalty yards, and outgained by Clemson. Luckily for the 'Canes, they'll get to 5-1 (and probably return to the top ten) before the Georgia Tech game on the strength of wins over Clemson, Colorado, South Florida, Duke, and Temple. Embarrassing.
Ball State should change their mascot to a crash test dummy. 159 points allowed to Iowa, Bowling Green and Auburn. BC next week. Their coaches should be tried for reckless endangerment.
The cupcake cavalcade continued into week three with the top twenty-five facing off against Rice, Ohio, Louisiana Monroe (which is a school, and not an individual, I'm told), Eastern Michigan, Sam Houston State, and Northern Iowa. Well done, indeed.
The stars are already aligning a for cosmic bailout of LTW. The Trees, after escaping with their lives from the University of the Navy, lost to UC Davis. They will be hard pressed to win again this year. Walt, keep Ty's seat warm, but take consolation in the fact that you can go back to Pitt a conquering hero after Wannstedt gets canned. Return to Glory! I believe this Harris, Willingham, Wannstedt vortex of sucking was a major subplot in one of the Left Behind books. I'll get our fact-checking staff right on that.
Game of the Week: Nebraska 7, Pitt 6. The teams combined to convert four of twenty-nine 3rd downs on their way to a thrillizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....WHA?
Ty, it was a helluva victory against Idaho. We're going to beat you by forty points, and will be the first of five consecutive top-25 teams to do so. But don't worry, your young men will learn that they will find out the type of man they want to be when the encounter adversity such as that which is experienced in a college football game against a team like the University of Notre Dame, okay?
